Already got asked if we're dating
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
