You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize