Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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