It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
