google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
