Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
