the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
