I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
