Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I cut my penus on the lid.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize