Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
organizing the empties. That sober.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
