butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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