Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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