shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
