That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she looked like the before picture.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
