In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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