So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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