I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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