The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
