This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
COCAINE IS GR8
I smell like Dick and happiness
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
do nipples grow back?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
