I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
