Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
