i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I am spending my child support on dildos
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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