Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
