fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
