5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
