Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
