got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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