i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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