Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
