Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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