hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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