You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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