I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
