he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
