If i come over, it means nothing
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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