how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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