She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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