my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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