OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I hate all girls vehemently.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
