my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
