you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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