Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
