Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize