Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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