I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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