i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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