Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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