so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
