I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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