If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize