nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
