this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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