Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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