would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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