You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
