I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
