Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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