im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
