it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
