I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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