Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
