Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
