As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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