he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
