How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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