Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize